Back in 1979, I became the first woman sports writer at The Courier-Express in Buffalo, New York. It was a terrible experience, mostly because the boys in the department did not want me there, and they did what they wanted to let me know it. After about 18 months, I was begging to get out. It was a job I had wanted. By the end, I had lost any interest in sports that I had nurtured since I was a kid. I grew up in a sports family. My brothers played soccer, hockey and hockey. Seriously, we were a serious hockey-playing family. I often say that I grew up in the Dann Memorial Rink at Nichols School in Buffalo. We had season tickets to the Bills and the Sabres. We skied. We water skied. One of my brothers was a decent tennis player. I played field hockey and basketball. I was a nerd, but sports were really important to me.
I don't want to go through all the gory details of what happened in the sports department at that paper. The sports gig became too much. I was wounded. Working with men who thought it would be a good idea to walk over to my desk when they wanted to fart, having an editor who did nothing to support me. Over time I came to dread going to work. I lost confidence. I drank too much. I gained weight. The farting men from the sports department got me. They won. They wore me down. I doubted myself as a writer. Ultimately I left sports and journalism behind. I moved to Provincetown, Massachusetts to walk on the beach, watch whales and try to figure out what to do next.
Ultimately, I moved to Boston where I worked for a software company, became an AIDS activist, went to divinity school, and watched a lot of baseball. In Boston, there are two things a person can do to get away from it all without leaving the city. Swan Boats and Fenway. I'm not sure if my love affair was more about Fenway or the Red Sox. But it was in Boston where I really began to understand baseball as being about way more than "See the ball. Hit the ball." Fenway was the house of hope. In those days there was so much hope in there that you could cut it with a knife. The sell-out crowds were the disciples. In a town where there is Major League Baseball, all you need is a uni or a ball cap and you can make a friend for life with the guy behind you in the checkout line at the grocery store. Baseball is a great teacher. It is unconditional love. It is blind faith. We learn that hope that never dies, and if it doesn't work out one day or one season, you can come back and do it again.
I have no explanation, but in 1995 I moved to the Bay Area. That is the San Francisco Bay area. It took me about 10 years to let another team into my heart. From California, I continued to hang onto to every pitch in the Red Sox seasons. The internet makes it easier to follow a team via long distance, and when the Red Sox won the series in 2004, I was in heaven. It was then that I was able to start letting go of my team and transfer my affections elsewhere. For sure, I could never be for Oakland (though this season I have been watching pretty closely)It took me a while to adjust to the National League. Now, after two world championships and some really amazing players, I have fallen all the way down into the loving arms of the San Francisco Giants. I have a happy life.
The Giants had good romantic qualities that make baseball more fun. A rivalry between the New York Giants and the Brooklyn Dodgers traversed the country and settled between the San Francisco Giants and the L.A. Dodgers. It is more intense than the rivalry between the Red Sox and the Yankees. I am sure that crime stops when the Giants play the Dodgers. Giants fans are incredible. The diverse spirit of the Bay Area fills ATT Park with unbridled fun and passion. Bankers wear orange clown wigs. Teenaged girls make signs praising Hunter Pence's ass. ATT is not as loud as Candlestick, but it is loud. The food is fun. Between There is a host of commemorative hats, shirts signs, and face paint. Even when they lose they are loved. For me, they have restored my love of sports in a new way. My life is richer for this, and I am forever grateful.
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